haha i’ve realized that sometimes when i see a long post on here i just scroll right through it just because i dont have the time to sit there and read the whole damn thing. welp looking back at my last blog it was super long so if others are like myself and just scroll right past it im kind of glad. im just expressing emotion on here. not really caring if people read it or not. just for myself. ANYWAY! i was finally able to stick up for myself to my EX! it felt so good to just be able to put a lot of my frustration out and just go off on him. even though i may love him still i finally worked up the courage to tell him that he doesnt love me. who treats someone so horribly, but “loves” them. i may have said things out of frustration and not meant it, but my chance was there and i took it. i dont regret it at all. so now we dont talk and i honestly dont think we will ever talk again. and honestly i am happier with that. him coming back in my life will stop everything that is going for me now because if presented me with the chance to be together again i would take it. yes i know im stupid for thinking that and wanting that, but i cant help that i love him and believe that if he really wanted it he could change for our relationship. do i ever think that will happen? no way in hell! but a girl can dream. i know that i will eventually move on and be ten times happier with someone else. i know that i deserve that much. but just like every other guy that ive dated, he will always have a special spot in my heart. so now its time to put myself first and worry about my responsibilities and enjoy growing up. and not to mention maybe start talking to someone new. which i have and things are going great. yes, it may seem like its soon, but he definitely help take my mind off my ex and takes all the sadness away from that situation. i havent had these butterflies and these kind of feelings since, well i cant remember, but it feels amazing. i havent been this happy and excited about something in such a long time. i love it. we met and had such a great time and this coming up weekend i get to meet his baby boy! im so excited. and it is such a great feeling to know that my parents and best friend except him even though he has a kid. so to say the least since the last time ive blogged my emotions have been positive and hopefully they will stay that way for awhile. right now i feel like nothing can stop me from reaching my goal of finally being happy. so i guess we will see what happens next!
- Krystal Gonzalez (via memoriesrecollected)